Remember the song from Fiddler on the Roof?  Well, I talked to one of those on the phone yesterday.  She said......when I am ready she knows a nice gentleman who is looking for a companion.  I wasn't sure what to say.  I am still writing thank you notes for flowers and food, and receiving sympathy cards.  It hasn't even been a month yet.

To tell you the truth, I was kind of flattered, but I don't know when or if I will ever be ready again.  Good grief, I'm 77 years old.  When my brother and I were kids we used to ask the grandma who lived with us why she didn't get married again.  She would always say "Why would I want to get married again and take care of some old man the rest of my life?"

The kids and I are busy trying to make some sense of Tom's business affairs.  He was a generous man, but did not keep good records.  Plus we have 5 rental houses, most of which still have mortgages and are rented to friends or relatives who do not pay enough rent.  We're going to have to sell a couple of them, and raise rents on the others.  I should have been more informed about our finances, but I've always been busy with kids and grand-kids and let him do it.

Other than that, I'm doing OK.   Our church is going to have what is called a 3 fold Communion service Fri. night.  It includes foot-washing, a dinner, and the bread and cup.  I'd like to go, but don't think I could handle it emotionally.  It's just too soon.  I did go to our Sunday School class last Sunday.  Tonight middle son and wife came over, and took me out for an ice cream cone.  That was fun.

This is from a good friend in Africa.  We love him and his family  very much.  We have known him since he was about 4 years old.  He is now the director of our Seminary in the capitol city of the Central African Republic  .Please excuse the poor English and the spelling mistakes.  I don't think he ever had formal English lessons, however he does speak about 5 different languages.  His English is So much better than my French or Sango is.  The word donate in the first sentence of the 2nd paragraph should be donuts, known there as makalas.  Tom used to bring back flour and oil for Francois' mother when he made trips to Bangui.  We all lived upcountry then, in a small town in the bush.

"In behalf of my family and all thé africans friend of Mr. Tom, we want to let you all know That we celebrate his home going with tears and mourning, even we know That je was welcome and his entering into God glory was celebrate by tousend of Angels.
Tom, has impact our family by helping my mother to make donate That bring income to support our schoolîng While kids, he was thé one That advice my parents to be able to make a safe to build home for our family. He has train two young Man to be mechanic. I have a great memories of his faithful dedication to give ride to us and Host us every time we come to the States.
The last time he leave a great memories to,my family was in last may after his surgery, when my Brother in law past away, he comes Mama Gracia to spent time with me Claire and thé girls, and said: "we want to assist you like in africa to Seat and spent Time with you for thé lost." This picture Will remain for ever in our heart, up to it in June 2014, we were loaded our lugages he comes again with Mama Gracia to say by to is, even physically weak he help to carry our suicases in to the van, when I said to Him Baba, let me carry it, he said:" you know That I am not able to take you to thé airport this Time, so it is a pleasure to me to help loading your suicases". It make me cry, as it was a Way to say by. Thank you Baba Tom for your love, we Will never forget you until we meet and give hug to each other in heaven! For the family, we love you and you all are in our prayers. Much love in Him"

Spring is here.  No I haven't seen any robins, and there are no flowers in our yard yet.  However we did buy our first Nelson's Golden Glow chicken of the year.  Yummmmm.    Those who live in Northern Indiana will know what I'm talking about.  Oldest daughter took me to do errands today.  Bank, post office, old newspaper drop-off, Goodwill, etc.  On the way to town we saw the barbecue truck, so on the way home we stopped and bought some.  It was nice to have a driver, and help with the errands.

I do have my new lens now.  Everything is OK except the bifocal line is not the same in the old lens as the new one.  I could have sent the new one back to be redone, but I hated to part with good vision so soon.  I decided to see if that bothered me or not.  So far it hasn't.  They said if it does, I can go back and they will send it back and have it re-done.

I have some paper work to do tonight, and more thank you notes to write.  Thanks to all of you who have been thinking of me and praying for me.  Thanks also to those who sent real cards through the mail.  It seems strange cooking dinner for only 2.  It doesn't feel strange sleeping alone in the bed, since Tom  hardly slept there last year.  He just had trouble breathing when he lay down.  Looking back, I can see a lot of warning signs that we didn't recognize at the time.  He was never in great pain, but he just didn't feel good.  I'm glad to not see him sitting in his chair leaning over with his head in his hands looking miserable anymore.

This is what  our TX daughter put on her face book page the night he left us.  "Remember the time you saw my dad so happy he couldn't contain it so he jumped for joy?  No?  That's cause you weren't in Heaven about 8 this evening when he realized where he was!!!  Love and miss him, but I can picture him there!

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2015/03/journey-through-israel-to-iraq-how-there-can-be-hope-in-our-hidden-hells/

I read this on FaceBook.  It is a beautifully written   account of a visit to Israel.  It's a little long, but well worth the time.

Even though there were only family (and 4 close family friends) at the viewing, there was still a long line of cars going to the cemetery. Our extended family is almost 50! It was extremely cold that morning, but when we got there shortly after 11 a.m. there was no wind and the sun was shining.

After our brief time there everyone drove to the church for lunch. Here is a picture of our table. I am on the far right, nest to me is our youngest son, then our daughter-in-law who is married to our middle son (next to her), then our youngest daughter.

The men wore string ties in honor of their dad.  He hated ties!

The room and tables were decorated with elephants. Some of you know that Tom collected elephants. It happened quite by accident several years ago. The kids never knew what to get him for presents. one day he was given an elephant. He said "Oh, I like elephants" and that was the beginning of it. Though we lived in Africa 6 years, we never saw any elephants there. One day we heard one in the bush as he was changing a flat tire on our truck. He said he never changed a tire so fast in his life!

The dessert table, but I couldn't eat much.

Tom and I both were born and grew up in Calif. where funerals were different from in the Midwest. There was no viewing and no calling. If you wanted to see the body you had to go to the mausoleum. If you wanted to see the family, you either went to the house or talked to them after the service. We lived here in IN. long enough to become Hoosiers, so we wanted to have at least a calling. Besides that, I think he knew everyone in town. There are  many names in the guest book, and I don't have the least idea who a lot of them are. It helped when they added something to their names, such as friends of which family members, or from the bank where he went often.

Thursday's schedule. Family met at 10 am at the funeral home for private viewing. 11 am......drive to the cemetery.  Noon....to the church for lunch prepared by church ladies. 3 pm.......calling at the church.  7 pm.....Memorial service, also at the church. The service was not long, just a few minutes under an hour. The prelude consisted of hymns on piano and organ. The only music during the service was a video of a beautiful hymn sent to us by a friend just a couple of days before. The name is "It is not death to die." I think he would have liked it, even though he didn't like what he called canned music. We didn't sing any hymns, because I knew we would cry. When the service was over, the pianist and organist played  "Cheer up, ye saints of God." Tom learned it from his father, who learned it from his Scottish father. He would sing it for others, only if he really felt like it, and really wanted to. He sang it with a Scottish brogue. Some of the older children sang along with the music as we were being escorted out.

Sometimes during memorial services at our church, they let people in the congregation share memories. We didn't do that, because it makes the service last too long. We told the pastor that Tom used to say "He needs to learn to land that plane" when the sermon lasted too long. So it was brief. We did have 2 special friends share their thoughts. 2 of our pastors also read e-mails and letters from around the world, including some from Africa. It was a special time.

Our family at the funeral home.  Dress was casual for the family time, as it was very cold, but as you can see, some dressed up anyway.

I'm planning to tell you about the memorial service for Tom, but first I need to tell you how many family members came, and how we housed them all. Some volunteered to get motel rooms, but we told them that wasn't necessary. TX daughter came with her special needs daughter. They slept in our downstairs family room on a futon and a single bed. The next day her husband and oldest son arrived. Next was oldest son's wife and little girl. Then middle son and wife, then youngest son and wife and baby. Are you confused yet? We were. Some drove, but most flew. 4 of the 6 family homes here were used for guests, but first we had to figure out who came when, who got along best with who, which homes were suitable for babies, and who was not allergic to dogs and cats. (Most were.) We ended up making a chart, loaning pillows, etc. It all worked out, and everyone was fairly comfortable. Unfortunately baby's mama got the stomach flu, and their flight home had to be delayed a day. Also several started coming down with colds. Most of them hung out here most of the days. Neighbors and church friends brought in plenty of food. Oh, I almost forgot. A friend came from southern Indiana and stayed here. Also, a couple came from N. Carolina. The husband was Tom's friend since Jr. High school. They stayed in our guest room until my brother and sister in law arrived from Spain, then they stayed at a local friends' house. Needless to say it was interesting. Hectic but enjoyable. It just sounds wrong to say fun for a funeral. Tom would have enjoyed it immensely. I told myself he was having a much better party in Heaven, and I'm sure he was, and is. I cried some during the nights, but not during the days. When I was younger I cried a lot, but as I grew older, not so much. I don't know whether our tears dry up when we get older, or whether I just figured out it didn't always help that much. I'm sure there will be more tears as the days go on. Last of TX family left this morning. One daughter took me to do errands today, and another will come with her husband for supper tonight. They are taking good care of me. There are a lot of details to care for, but the kids are helping with that. I am blessed.

Hi Everybody. I'm doing OK. It really helps to have family around. TX daughter and grand-daughter are still here. They'll probably leave Mon.

We have a lot of business to take care of, but it will get done. I haven't really had a chance to be lonesome yet. Tomorrow we'll go to look at monuments.

I still don't have glasses, but did have my eyes checked, and I'm supposed to get my new prescription next week. My old frames are still good, and I didn't want to spend the money on new frames, so I had to leave them there, and they gave me a loaner pair. They're kind of ugly, but at least I can halfway see.

Also my keyboard quit working. It was a real old one that someone gave me. I'm using a new one now, trying to get used to it, and not make too many mistakes.

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm doing OK. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.

http://www.redpathfruthfuneralhome.com/

The above is the link to my husband's (Tom McDairmant) obituary. I'm finding out that there are a lot of things to take care of when a loved one dies. All my family have been here. I think there were 42 of us at the meal provided by the church. The memorial service was beautiful. I haven't cried a lot yet. I'm kind of a delayed crier. It takes awhile for my emotions to catch up with what's happening.
The day before he died was business as usual. Breakfast out with friends. Then the P.O. bank, and the shop. He also went out for lunch, then home for a nap. Back to the shop, home about 5, when he drove me to the pet store to pick up my mom's dog who was there for grooming. We both went to bed fairly early. He had been sleeping in his recliner for several weeks. I was asleep when he started having to pant to breathe. He said he should have gone to the hospital then, but he didn't want to. He woke me about 5 a.m. and still wouldn't go to the hospital. Our daughter in law came to get us sometime before 8 a.m. since I'm still not driving. She drove us to the Dr. who sent us to emergency. They admitted him, and he spent the day almost comfortably in a room. He had oxygen so he could breathe better. He had lots of tests, and we saw lots of specialists. He enjoyed joking with the nurses. He'd say things like "Here comes the vampire" when someone came to take his blood. He seemed to be stable and I was tired, so about 6 p.m. I went home. About 7 my daughter called and said someone was coming to get me. His blood pressure had dropped really low. His heart was only working at 20 %. They called a Code Blue, and rushed him to ICU. His INR was 3.8 so he should not have had any blood clots. However a large clot formed in his heart, and the heart walls were too thin to pump it out. A Dr. actually watched it form. He said he had never seen anything like it. He called it massive. They spent quite awhile trying to revive him, but it was no use. He died at 8:03 p.m. God decided it was time.
He knew the Lord, and was not afraid to die. I'm glad he went quickly and didn't have to suffer much. Thank you all for your prayers and sympathy. I am so grateful to have friends like you.

I am doing OK so far. It still all seems unreal. We are thankful he went so quickly. He started feeling really bad at 1 a.m. Fri. We took him to hosp. before 9 am. He was OK most of Fri. Weak, but not in pain. About 7 pm his blood pressure went really low. He died at 8:03 p.m.

We are planning services for Thurs. All the family should be here by then. Family viewing at 10 a.m. Go to cemetery at 11 a.m. Lunch at our church at noon. Calling at church starting at 3 p.m. Memorial service at 7 p.m.

I'll probably tell you more about it later. We will have lots of family coming. I keep thinking that it's too bad he is missing all this. He loved having people over. Then I remind myself that he is undoubtedly enjoying a much better celebration in Heaven with friends and family who went before him.

Thanks to all of you, for your messages of encouragement and your prayers.